A Master Gardener Trainee

I am a Master Gardener Trainee....a title I really don't like! Really now, trainee? I guess it's because the word "trainee" holds a sort of less than knowledgeable connotation.

And if I am trainee and "don't know 'nuthin" then is it the same for all the others? I don't think that is the case. I know for me, it's not.

Here is what I DO know:

1. I love my gardens. My body doesn't. In my gardening tool box the most important tool I have is my bottle of Advil.
2. Johnson Grass comes from another planet. It has to. Nothing else on our beautiful planet could grow straight through 8 layers of newspaper, 20 year landscape fabric and 8" of mulch. Either it comes from another planet or it has the same genetic makeup of a 2 year old. Take your pick.
3. Flicking bugs does wonders for stress. Flicking them against a brick wall is even better.
4. Playing music to your plants doesn't work. I've tried. However, it might work if I could figure out how to attach the earphones from my I-pod better. Any tips?
5. The garden center knows my first name. They also know not to ask if the plant I am buying that is identical to the one I bought at a recent visit is one that I just like or if I am using it to replace the one that just died. I heard that their last employee is doing well with her treatment.
6. Brown is a color in my garden. Get over it.
7. I am inherently cheap. I love free mulch, border material, recycled items and plants for the garden. The Master Gardener's class was not cheap. That's ok. I'll make it up with snips and cuttings and seed pods from the natural garden.
8. I do not steal plants. I take advantage of opportunities. That lady's vine was growing over into the right of way. I was just helping to trim it.
9. I also rescue seeds.
10. My husband say's I let plants die. I prefer to think they commit suicide.

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